We’ve talked before about the do’s and don’ts of etiquette for the wording on your wedding invitations before, but how do you actually address them? And what about the envelopes? If you want them to be properly addressed, there are a few rules to follow, so here’s an easy chart for you to keep up with it all! (If you want an even easier – and prettier – way to keep up with it, hire a calligrapher!)

Addressing the Invitation:

A Married Couple

Invitation Envelope:
Mr. John and Mrs. Becky Holt
Or
Mr. and Mrs. John Holt

Response Card / Inner Envelope:
Mr. and Mrs. Holt
Or
John and Becky

 

A Married Couple w/ Different Last Names

Invitation Envelope:
Mr. John Holt and Mrs. Becky Carr

Response Card / Inner Envelope:
Mr. Holt and Mrs. Carr
Or
John and Becky

 

An Unmarried Couple Living Together

Invitation Envelope:
Mr. John Holt
Ms. Becky Carr

Response Card / Inner Envelope:
Mr. Holt
Ms. Carr

 

A Same-Sex Couple

Invitation Envelope:
Ms. Anna Lucas and Ms. Crystal Smith
Or
Anna Lucas and Crystal Smith

Response Card / Inner Envelope:
Ms. Lucas and Ms. Smith
Or
Anna and Crystal

 

Children and Families

Invitation Envelope:
Mr. and Mrs. John Holt
Daniel, Jeffrey, Brittany, and Kelly 

Response Card / Inner Envelope:
Mr. and Mrs. John Holt
and children

 

Children 18 and Older

Invitation Envelope:
Ms. Kelly Rivers
Or
Mr. Daniel Hodge

Response Card / Inner Envelope:
Ms. Rivers
Or
Mr. Hodge

 

Note: If you don’t include each child’s name, you’re implying that children are not invited. That said, don’t be surprised if some guests still mistakenly assume their children are welcome. If you’re concerned this will happen with your guests, ask your immediate family and bridal party to help spread the word that the wedding will be ADULTS ONLY and add the message to your wedding website. In the end, you may have to follow up with guests who don’t get the message via phone to gently explain the situation.

 

Addressing the Envelope:

Type of Guest	Outer Envelope	Inner Envelope
Unmarried Female	Ms. Susan Miller	Ms. Miller
Divorced Female, uses married name	Mrs. Victoria Carson or Ms. Victoria Carson	Mrs. Carson and Guest or Ms. Carson and Guest
Unmarried Male	Mr. Thomas Blair	Mr. Blair and Guest
Married Couple	Mr. and Mrs. Victor Gordon	Mr. and Mrs. Gordon
Unmarried Couple living together	Mr. Timothy Hillman and Ms. Cynthia Newman	Mr. Hillman and Ms. Newman
Inviting Children (List children in order of age)	Mr. and Mrs. Gene Proctor	Mr. and Mrs. Proctor David, Alexis and Sarah
Judge	The Honorable and Mrs. Jay Fellmyer	Judge and Mrs. Fellmyer
Clergy	The Reverend Donald Hitchcock	The Reverend Hitchcock
Doctor (medical) (Spell out the word “Doctor”)	Doctor William Fitzgerald	Doctor Fitzgerald and Guest
Doctor (PhD) (Abbreviate the word “Doctor”)	Dr. William Fitzgerald	Dr. Fitzgerald and Guest
Married Woman Doctor (Women’s name goes first if she outranks husband)	Doctor Kerri Brendon Mr. Scott Brendon	Doctor Brendon Mr. Brendon
Married Couple, Both PhD or Medical Doctors	Drs Robert and Elise Williams or Dr. Robert Williams and Dr. Elise Williams	The Doctors Williams
Colonel – Man	Colonel and Mrs. Jay Sconer	Colonel and Mrs. Sconer
Officer – Woman	Lieutenant Corin Adams, U.S. Navy Mr. Christopher Adams	Lieutenant Adams Mr. Adams