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Addressing the Envelope: Etiquette for your Stationery

Wedding Tips

June 14, 2018

We’ve talked before about the do’s and don’ts of etiquette for the wording on your wedding invitations before, but how do you actually address them? And what about the envelopes? If you want them to be properly addressed, there are a few rules to follow, so here’s an easy chart for you to keep up with it all! (If you want an even easier – and prettier – way to keep up with it, hire a calligrapher!)

Addressing the Invitation:

A Married Couple

Invitation Envelope:
Mr. John and Mrs. Becky Holt
Or
Mr. and Mrs. John Holt

Response Card / Inner Envelope:
Mr. and Mrs. Holt
Or
John and Becky

 

A Married Couple w/ Different Last Names

Invitation Envelope:
Mr. John Holt and Mrs. Becky Carr

Response Card / Inner Envelope:
Mr. Holt and Mrs. Carr
Or
John and Becky

 

An Unmarried Couple Living Together

Invitation Envelope:
Mr. John Holt
Ms. Becky Carr

Response Card / Inner Envelope:
Mr. Holt
Ms. Carr

 

A Same-Sex Couple

Invitation Envelope:
Ms. Anna Lucas and Ms. Crystal Smith
Or
Anna Lucas and Crystal Smith

Response Card / Inner Envelope:
Ms. Lucas and Ms. Smith
Or
Anna and Crystal

 

Children and Families

Invitation Envelope:
Mr. and Mrs. John Holt
Daniel, Jeffrey, Brittany, and Kelly 

Response Card / Inner Envelope:
Mr. and Mrs. John Holt
and children

 

Children 18 and Older

Invitation Envelope:
Ms. Kelly Rivers
Or
Mr. Daniel Hodge

Response Card / Inner Envelope:
Ms. Rivers
Or
Mr. Hodge

 

Note: If you don’t include each child’s name, you’re implying that children are not invited. That said, don’t be surprised if some guests still mistakenly assume their children are welcome. If you’re concerned this will happen with your guests, ask your immediate family and bridal party to help spread the word that the wedding will be ADULTS ONLY and add the message to your wedding website. In the end, you may have to follow up with guests who don’t get the message via phone to gently explain the situation.

 

Addressing the Envelope:

Type of Guest

Outer Envelope

Inner Envelope

Unmarried Female Ms. Susan Miller Ms. Miller
Divorced Female,

uses married name

Mrs. Victoria Carson

or

Ms. Victoria Carson

Mrs. Carson and Guest

or

Ms. Carson and Guest

Unmarried Male Mr. Thomas Blair Mr. Blair and Guest
Married Couple Mr. and Mrs. Victor Gordon Mr. and Mrs. Gordon
Unmarried Couple living together Mr. Timothy Hillman and Ms. Cynthia Newman Mr. Hillman and Ms. Newman
Inviting Children

(List children in order of age)

Mr. and Mrs. Gene Proctor Mr. and Mrs. Proctor

David, Alexis and Sarah

Judge The Honorable and Mrs. Jay Fellmyer Judge and Mrs. Fellmyer
Clergy The Reverend Donald Hitchcock The Reverend Hitchcock
Doctor (medical)

(Spell out the word “Doctor”)

Doctor William Fitzgerald Doctor Fitzgerald and Guest
Doctor (PhD)

(Abbreviate the word “Doctor”)

Dr. William Fitzgerald Dr. Fitzgerald and Guest
Married Woman Doctor

(Women’s name goes first if she outranks husband)

Doctor Kerri Brendon

Mr. Scott Brendon

Doctor Brendon

Mr. Brendon

Married Couple, Both PhD or Medical Doctors Drs Robert and Elise Williams

or

Dr. Robert Williams and Dr. Elise Williams

The Doctors Williams
Colonel – Man Colonel and Mrs. Jay Sconer Colonel and Mrs. Sconer
Officer – Woman Lieutenant Corin Adams, U.S. Navy

Mr. Christopher Adams

Lieutenant Adams

Mr. Adams

 

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